Overcoming Self-Doubt

Overcoming self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy

Self-doubt - we all experience it at times. We question ourselves, our decisions, our choices. I have long questioned myself and my own abilities, comparing my strengths and talents to others. Comparing my lifestyle and choices. Eating away at my own confidence.

But I've finally started digging deeper into my self-development and believing in my capabilities and I'm finally seeing how my self-belief plays a critical part i believing in my success . Our own thoughts and beliefs about our skills, abilities, knowledge, talents, or accomplishments can make or break us, and I'm finally starting to "get it."

Three areas that show up, especially for women when working on their career and building up their skills that can wreak havoc and create feelings of anxiety are: Self-doubt, self-sabotage, and a severe form of self-doubt: imposter syndrome

 Thoughts of self-doubt are frustrating and can be defeating and even in some cases, career derailing. Many of us have beliefs about ourselves that inhibit our success. These thoughts can also lend t to a person doubting others, which will erode the trust that you worked so hard to build.

 As women, this self-doubt is stronger with us than it is with men (men still report feelings of doubt and inadequacy, but it’s not as common or as researched as self-doubt in women).

 A commonly known finding from a Hewlett Packard internal report is that men apply for jobs even if they meet only 60% of the qualifications, while women only apply if they feel they meet 100% of the requirements.  We’d imagine some of those jobs come with excellent pay & positions, and probably the women who didn’t apply didn’t want to risk the uncertainty of “not being qualified enough” for the job.

 There’s a name for this – and many people, especially women, fall victim to this: imposter syndrome.

 The term imposter syndrome was introduced in the late 1970s by Dr Pauline Clance and Dr Suzanne Imes. They defined imposter syndrome or imposter phenomenon as an individual experience of self-perceived intellectual phoniness or fraud.

 Imposter Syndrome has been identified as one of the main barriers that prevent leaders from excelling. The lack of self-confidence is often associated with behaviors such as overworking and perfectionism. Such behaviors are paralyzing in the workplace and don’t allow for a person to grow and develop and move change forward. Imposter syndrome can impact a leader thro procrastination, perfectionism, self-centeredness, self-sabotage, and over-preparation. Etc.

 Everyone has twinges of anxiety, doubt, and asks themselves the question: Oh my gosh can I freaking do this job? But imposter syndrome and crippling self-doubt go behind the occasional flutter of questions and nervousness. It is a deeply rooted belief that one isn’t deserving of success, accolades, attention or otherwise well-deserved successes.

 This is why self-love is important. Being kind to yourself. Believing in your capabilities. Knowing also where you need to improve, but not to make the mistake of viewing your improvement areas as signs of weakness. Great leaders hire talent based on what they lack. Leaders hire talent who are able ao contradict and challenge them. 

A basic rule of thumb: nobody will believe in you if YOU don’t believe in yourself.

You have your special strengths. Measure yourself on how you use them to make a contribution. – Val Ackerman, founding president of the WNBA and former president of USA Basketball

 Self-doubt is there for all of us – and the more women I work with the more I see it doesn’t care who we are, where we come from, how educated we are, how much money we make – many of us question our abilities and talents. There’s no magic wand I can wave to make your self-doubt disappear. I struggle with it too – and have for a long time. But I also have begun to learn that I am my biggest champion – and that comparison is the thief of joy. Doubt often comes into play because we compare ourselves to others – and think others are brighter, smarter, more deserving and that is bullshit. We ALL deserve great things. It’s a matter of working hard and not comparing ourselves to each other. We only see a portion of other people – we don’t see the hard work that goes in behind the scenes as someone is working towards their goals. The grit we talked about earlier is invisible – we don’t see the hours of practice and perseverance behind the scenes. But YOU know what you do and what you can accomplish and you need that to fuel your confidence and eradicate those feelings of doubt that do no good in serving you!

Imposter syndrome can impact a leader thro procrastination, perfectionism, self-centeredness, self-sabotage, and over-preparation. However recognizing how to use your feelings of fear or can actually help you!

Here’s how!

• Promote Problem-Solving
• Think of questions as commonplace
• Be curious in your approach to your team and others you interact with
• Foster team morale
• Drive collaboration
• Psychological safety
• Emotional agility
• Recognize accomplishments
• Culture of inclusion

Remember:

• You have your special strengths. Measure yourself on how you use them to make a contribution. – Val Ackerman, founding president of the WNBA and former president of USA Basketball
• Talk about your fears – find a mentor, friend.
• Listen to your heart – work to your values and build connections with those who share those values
• Consider what makes you feel worthy in your own work.
• Remember at the end of the day we are all people – we all have work stress, family stressors, trying to juggle all the asks and to-dos. Stay focused on the humanity of people.